ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
