Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
