I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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