He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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