i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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