The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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