honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
