real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I think your dad took our porno
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
