Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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