I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize