i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My dad is sitting where you rode me
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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