grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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