She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
