Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
