why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize