she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
