just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
