I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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