there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
