We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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