the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
