it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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