Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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