Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
only if we run a train.
done.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize