there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
