did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I wish you could order shots online.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
