Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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