Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
