Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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