And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
