kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
