We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
