oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
