I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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