Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
