He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
