How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Randomize
