im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
