Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I need moral support for this bender
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
