So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
