i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
