dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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