i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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