found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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