i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize