sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
