in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
