Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
