also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
