At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
