he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
