And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
