I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
