porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
