Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
