At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize