So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
