Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
