So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
