I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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